We finished painting the trim and crown moulding in the family room and it looks awesome!  Now we have to pick colors for the walls, paint, and hang up some stuff on the walls and it will be done.  I'm still working on filling holes and getting ready to prime and paint the rest of the trim in the house.  I'm hoping it will be done before Madilynn's birthday party.

We worked on baby proofing the house this weekend.  We put on outlet covers, padded the edges of the coffee table, and put up one of 3 baby gates.  The gate is at the top of the stairs.  I often put M to play on the landing there while I do laundry or shower.  I give her a few toys to play with and she's content for the 10 or so minuets that it takes to get things done.  Though she's not fully crawling yet, she has learned to scoot a bit and can get around.  It freaked me out having her by the stairs so we put the gate there.  It's a tall gate but the walk-through door is kinda skinny.  I'm a little scared to walk through it holding the baby cause I have to sort of turn sideways so that we both fit.  It's making we wonder if it's helping more than hurting.  It's a loose loose right now.  I run the risk of her falling if I take the gate down.  And, I feel like I run a huge risk if we both fall while trying to squeeze though the door.  Maybe I'll just get used to it?

Speaking of Madilynn, she's really sick right now.  She's got a bad cough and runny nose.  I don't know if it's a cold or if she's cutting her top teeth.  She had something very similar when she got her bottom teeth so only time will tell.  She's eating a LOT of new foods now.  I make all her baby food at home and it's saving a lot of money and I know what's going into it.  When I eat dinner I give her what I'm having if it's something that she can smash up in her mouth.  I'm excited for when she turns 9 months old cause then she can have meat.  I'm trying to expose her to as many different foods and tastes as possible.  She loves to eat and explore with food.

I actually got out by myself a few times this week.  I went to see a movie with some friends.  On Saturday I went out to dinner and drinks with some moms from group.  It was so nice just to get out and about without the baby.  Jordan likes hanging out with her and watching movies and paying and getting alone time with her too so it's a win-win.

Other than that, things are going well.  Keeping busy.  I want to try to start trying to get more active and maybe loose some of this baby weight.  Actually I was pretty thin after giving birth and have been gaining from holiday eating and general winter laziness.  We shall see how it works out.

 M pushed herself under the sofa at a playdate

 Trying to taste her pack and play

 Loving her ball-pit pack and play

Resolution: Home Project

When I take the time to look around my house, I notice a lot of things I dislike and want to change.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE our house, but we've been here over 2 years and it still looks like we just moved in.

The people that lived here before us had a huge thing for wood trim.  It wouldn't be such a problem except I'm assuming the man of the house did it himself.  He spent huge amounts of money on very nice trim.  However, that's where the niceness wears out.  It's honey oak in color (which I'm finding hard to match with paint colors) and he did a crappy job of installing it.  He obviously didn't have the tools or know how to join the trim properly.  He used decorative pieces of trim to butt the boards against instead of cutting them to fit properly.  This makes the trim look clunky and interrupted.

When we moved in we removed most of the trim and wainscoating.  It was a huge improvement, but I'm still irked by what's still left.  So, I'm painting it white.  I've started in the bedroom to see how it looks and to gauge how hard it is.  So far it's been pretty easy.  I have the primer up and I already see a huge improvement.  Once I see it with paint I'll know if it's something I want to carry out throughout the rest of the house.  I've always loved white trim and it will be a lot easier to match paint for the walls since almost everything goes with white.

I think it will be a good winter project.  Once that is done, I plan on painting the family room and FINALLY getting some pictures and art on the walls.  By the end of spring it should look like a family lives here instead a hodge podge of bare walls and miss match.

Before and after picture soon to follow.

Keeping Busy this Winter

Summer is so full of parties and get togethers, bar-be-ques and vacations.  Normally I use the winter time to relax and take it easy.  It's cold out and I generally like to stay in and hibernate.  In an effort to keep some form of sanity and not die of boredom this winter, I have joined so many activities that I find myself going a bit nutty.

We have swim lessons, breast feeding group, another mommy/baby meetup group, babies and books at the library.  Those are constant every week.  Add on top of that mom's nights out (meeting up with other moms for dinner and drunks or Bunko) and other random play dates and I'm keeping pretty busy.  Grocery shopping, laundry, paying bills, cooking dinner every night, and keeping the house clean(ish) and my plate is getting very full.

But... I've been able to meet so many other great moms.  It's nice to be able to vent, ask advice, and talk about poop, boogers, and sleep schedules with no judgment.  We can show up with no makeup on, hair in ponytails, wearing spit-up perfume.

I thought I might get to relax a little bit before summer, but looks like our dance card is full until spring.

New Years Resolutions

1.  Eat better.  I hardly eat breakfast and eat WAY too much sugar.  My snacking is out of control.  It's effecting my moods and my energy level.  I want to do better.

2.  Stop watching so much TV in front of Madilynn.  There are days when I'm exhausted and my DVR is overflowing and I sit and watch TV all day.  Not literally sit and watch while my daughter gets neglected, but it's on in the background while I get things done around the house or play with Madilynn.

3.  Stop cursing all together.  Or at least in front of Madilynn.

4.  Complete a home project.  Paint the family room.  Tear down the kitchen wall.  Refinish the kitchen floor.  New carpet.  Whatever.  Something needs to get done.

5.  Stick up for my daughter more.  I find myself biting my tongue a lot when it comes to my baby only to get home and beat myself up for not saying anything.  People aren't shy about voicing their opinions or "concerns" about Madilynn or our parenting choices and for the most part it doesn't bother me.  However, there are times when I want to speak up but don't because I think I'll come across as rude.  Madilynn doesn't have a voice yet, so this year I plan on speaking up more and taking less crap.  I also want to stand up and be proud of my parenting decisions (going organic or how long I plan to breastfeed) instead of making excuses or skirting around the real reasons I have for making my choices.

6.  Stop spending so much money on things we don't need.  I buy a lot for Madilynn because I find great deals.  However, because I buy so much, things don't get used (clothes) or she gets too overwhelmed with everything (toys).  She has way more than enough and I need to keep that in mind.

7.  Get better at photography.  I take SO MANY pictures in hopes to get a few great shots.  I want to get better so that I can take less photos, but have more come out great.

8.  Spend more quality one on one time with Jordan.    We do get to spend alone time together, but it's often spent watching TV or just zoning out.  I want to connect more and now that Madilynn is older I don't feel so anxious about leaving her with friends and family.  We got a TON of movie and food gift cards for the holidays and I plan on using them.

9.  Keep a journal.  Not one to vent or fill with negative things, but one that I could share with Madilynn one day.  Or maybe a guided, fill in the blank, memoir/journal that I fill in and pass down to her.

10.  Be better to myself.  I need more time alone.  Time that's not spent running errands while Jordan watches Madilynn at home.  Since Madilynn's been born I've been alone at the house twice.  Each time for only about 30 minuets.  Sometimes Jordan keeps her downstairs while I craft in my room but I can still hear her and he still brings her in or asks me questions.  I need him to leave with the baby more.  I also want to feel more comfortable in my new body.  Pregnancy and childbirth made such significant changes to my body and I'm still coming to terms with it.  I need to accept what has happened and work on changing the things I dislike.

SAHM

I got the job.  I went through orientation, training, and put in some shifts.  Then I quit to stay home with Madilynn.  The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to stay home.  I talked to Jordan about it and he agrees.  I was going to wait it out through the winter, but with the holidays coming up, I wanted to be sure I was going to be home. 

Over Thanksgiving, I had to cut my trip to see my parents short so I could go to work.  I wasn't able to fully enjoy my holiday because I had this dark dread of going to work looming over me.  I don't want to deal with that over Christmas.

She's at such a great age right now and it's only getting better.  I want to be home to be a part of all of it.  I can work when she starts school.

Returning to Work

A while back I was having a really hard time dealing with the stress of taking care of Madilynn all day.  She was sick and I was hormonal and it wasn't a good mix.  I started to put my feelers out there and looking for a part time job so that I could get away for a bit.  There's a new gourmet market coming to town and they have a very upscale bakery.  I decided to apply for a part time position there. 

I talked to my mother in law and asked if she could watch Madilynn while I was at work.  She said that she would be able to watch her M-Thur.  Her and my father in law have a condo in the city and they weekend there most of the time.  The hours that I will most likely be working are 7-4.  Jordan will be in charge of getting her up and to his mom's house.  I will pick her up after work.

I was called in for the 1st round of interviews and it went really well.  The recruiter I met with said she thought I'd be a good fit and that she was going to recommend me for the position.

While I was waiting to hear back from them, things changed at home.  Madilynn and I were getting along better and I couldn't get enough of her.  She's becoming more active and more fun to hang out with and we were having a great time together.  I also became more involved in some mommy groups so I was keeping busy with that as well.  The thought of leaving her broke my heart.  Knowing that my MIL would be on the receiving end of the smiles and giggle instead of me brought me to tears.  I started second-guessing myself and if I REALLY wanted to go back to work.

Another thing that has me wavering is thinking about being up all night with Madilynn and then having to go to work exhausted.  Having to work hard all day, pick her up from Grandma's house, cook dinner, change diapers, get her and Jordan fed, give baths, clean up the dinner mess and get her down for bed.  Only to get 4 hours of sleep before repeating.

The up side to working is the money.  Though I won't be making a lot, it will add up to an extra $1000ish a month.  There's a lot of things around the house that I want to get done: new carpet, new furniture, taring down the kitchen wall, a new bed and bedroom set.  Not to mention that both of our cars are old and on their last leg.  And I'll FINALLY be able to afford a smart phone.  Also, group outings will decrease due to the Winter weather.  So working will really fill my time during the cold months.

I voiced my pros and cons to Jordan.  He told me that I didn't need to work.  That the money isn't worth my feeling of missing out on our daughter growing up.    And I'm so lucky that we are in a position that I can stay home if I want to.

In the end, I figure I'll give it a try.  At least through Winter.  The added money will be nice.  Winter is boring a dreary anyways.

But those smiles.  The giggles.  The snuggles.  She's only this age, this happy, bubbly, baby, for such a very short time.  I can't help but feel like I'll be missing out.  And I'm not sure I can deal with that.

Life Update

So Madilynn is over 5 months old now and so much has changed.  She's in complete control of her head and neck and loves looking around and taking everything in.  She is bearing weight on her legs and loves to stand up with help.  She's rolling front to back most times.  She's found her feet and loves to pull and suck on her socks.  But, the biggest thing, is that she's almost sitting unassisted.  She corrects herself when she tips too far to one side and can sit on her own for extended lengths of time.   From what I hear, this is a bit advanced as most babies don't do this until 6 months.

We celebrated Halloween.  She dressed up as a pumpkin and we went trick or treating with her friend, Brycen, and his parents.  Though we only went around the block, she was able to collect a lot of candy for Jordan and me.

We have her eating some solid foods now.  So far she's only had butternut squash, oatmeal, apples, and sweet potatoes.  She's learning that that she can clamp her mouth shut and twist her head to avoid the spoon.  She often ends up wearing more than she eats.  We've been exposing her bottles more and last weekend she took a full bottle when I went shopping with my mom.

We've been having problems with diapers for the last month or so.  She's too big for size 2 and too small for size 3.  Every time she poops she blows it out of her diaper.  I end up having to change her clothing 2-5 times a day now.  It's really frustrating, not to mention stinky.  It's really a downer to have to wash her swing, car seat cover, sheets and clothes all the time.  And, since she's eating solids, her poop stains.  So now everything has to be pre-treated before the wash in hopes that the stains come out.

She's sleeping in her crib at night which is really nice.  She still wakes up 1-3 times a night to eat, but that is happening less and less.  I'm really hoping that she starts sleeping through the night soon.

I've been applying for some jobs and I'm hoping to get back to work soon.  Jordan's mom agreed to watch Madilynn a few days a week.  I'd really like to work in the bakery of the new Fresh Market that's opening in our area.  I went in for an interview and it seems promising.

I'm still making hats and I've made a nice chunk of money doing so.  It keeps me busy during the day while Madi is asleep.

Jordan is working for a new company now as well.  I was worried that the company that took over would fire all the existing employees but they're not going to do so.  In fact, they saying that they have a 4-6 year job security which really puts my mind at rest.